Movies and Idiots

Ok, so I have to get some shit off my chest about the state of the intelligence in some people in the world. My girlfriend and I attended the double feature for the release of the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 last night, and I must say there are some dumbass, ill-mannered, f*ck'n morons in this area. First of all, if you're going to go to the movies, or basically anywhere in public, how about taking a damn shower!! WTF!! Is that too much to ask for? I mean seriously folks, how can you go somewhere in public, knowing you're going to sit next to someone in an enclosed environment basically, and smell like you either just ran a mile in a three piece suit in the middle of summer in Texas, or more to the point, forgot to wipe your ass after taking a shit! Ok, I think I've addressed that point clearly and straight to the point, TAKE A DAMN SHOWER AND USE SOAP (for those too slow to understand without having it spelled out for you).

Next on the list of "am I the only one", is the people that feel the need to have personal or private conversions at full volume in a public area. I don't need to hear you and your BFF talking about your damn nasty yeast infections, get some damn vagasil and shut the f*ck up! Nobody wants to hear about it, nobody really cares, except maybe the nasty smelly shithead sitting close by thinking damn my life could be worse. I can understand that maybe teenagers would do it to simply get some attention, but I'm talking about some mid 30's women who you would think would have the sense to keep the fact that they got some "sourdough" going on to themselves.

So let me ask ya'll something, how many buckets of popcorn can one person spill before you say, no more idiot. I mean this douche bag didn't just spill one big ass bucket of popcorn all over the floor, hell he didn't even spill just two big ass buckets of popcorn all over the floor, this dumb ass spilled 3 FULL BIG ASS TUBS OF POPCORN all over the damn floor, and the parents just kept getting him more. HOW DAMN STUPID IS THAT!!! Seriously it's not like the gallon of popcorn at the theater is cheap, hell if I would have done that as a kid, my dad would have said "great job dumb ass, now pick it up off the floor and get my money's worth out of it". You couldn't even see the floor from all the popcorn on it; looked like an explosion happened at the pop-secret warehouse or something. I didn't even mention the soda he spilled all over the popcorn as well. On the topic of refreshments and stuff at the theaters, can someone please explain to me how you can spill a huge soda, when the damn seats have built in cupholders that are designed to hold the damn soda! You have to be a blockhead from hell to manage to spill a soda that has a damn cupholder for it! Shit it's like doing a workout or something when you walk on the floor after a movie from your shoes sticking to the nasty ass floor.

Now I understand that for some reason, manners has been removed from the list of things to be taught to our kids apparently, but how the hell can a young adult be so damn disgusting that she can eat a tub of popcorn and never once chewed with her damn mouth closed! I mean the damn girl sounded like a f*ck'n cow pulling it's foot out of a mud puddle for almost 4 hours. I wanted to reach over, pour a mouth full of popcorn in her mouth, and then work her mouth to show her how to chew with her fat mouth shut, so everyone didn't have to hear her fat ass chewing. How in the hell did this kid manage to survive this long without someone teaching her and telling how incredibly disgusting it is for other people to have to see and hear her eat like that?

And by the way, attention candy makers, why the f8ck do you have to put candy in a loud ass plastic wrapper and a box, when you know your product is going to a place that quiet is expected? I mean shit, do whoppers need to come in a box? Really? Not like they don't make noise to begin with, but damn do they need to put them in a box so they get even louder? Of course there's the gummy bears that come in a box and in a plastic wrapper that you have to have a damn hunting knife with you to open, and then of course it's loud as f*ck through the movie, because the dumb ass eating them has to dig down in the plastic to get his or her fat sausage fingers on them. You can't tell me that there isn't a packaging option out there that these companies couldn't come up with that would keep the product fresh and not sound like a bowling ball rolling down the lanes and smashing into pins for two hours.

I understand that to most this might just sound like the ranting of an asshole, but if you stopped and asked yourself this, would these things bother me? If you answer no, well maybe you need to go and ask your friends, if any of the things listed above might have to do with you!!!!! But I feel comfortable in saying the majority of people find the same shit as horrible and nasty and frankly stupid as I do. So next time you're at the movies, and the theater is full, remember this, WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! WE DON'T WANT TO STEP ON IT! AND WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR NASTY VAGINA!!!!!!!